Simple Amusements: A Plot by Ryuichi Sakuma
by Vampykitty-kun
Summary: Having everything laid out for you to see is surprisingly a happy thing. Except when manipulated to do so by a certain bunny loving brunette. Unfortunately, no one knows he's plotting. Everyone has their Simple Amusements, but now they're out in the open
1. Kittens to pet cemetary in 03 seconds

Tohma sighed and stared at his laptop screen in boredom.

For once, there was no work to be done, but in his moment of spare time, he couldn't find a thing to do. Being stuck at home rather than at NG was never a good time for him, as other than work as NG's Shacho, and his keyboarding for Nittle Grasper, he'd honestly not had much to do for many years now.

Mika was off, doing whatever she normally did while he was at work. Tohma knew that she herself didn't work, she'd never had to with the income he brought in, so it was always puzzling where she went in her spare time. Most men might have been worried about such a thing, but Tohma was 100% sure she'd never do something as drastic as have an affair. She was just likely off shopping, or conversing with random friends he'd never gotten the time (nor urge) to know.

He'd long since stopped meeting her at the bar after work or between meetings. In fact, they rarely saw each other at all. Which was why his days off were always the same. He'd sit alone, bored, and anxious in the large empty house in complete silence. It was the days like this he thought about calling Sakano and offering him a butler job, but he always dismissed the idea in his head. Sakano already worked for him full time at NG. The man had no business getting of work just to come to his his afterwards to spiff up odds and ends. With the level of devotion he had for Tohma, he feared the man would neglect sleeping just to make him happy with the house by morning. It would have solved his loneliness for his days off, but would create an entire new problem.

Tohma was rather sure that Sakano's treatment of him was not purely professional. Had he known it at the time of hiring him, he'd have reconsidered his offer. He'd known Sakano years prior to him working with him at NG. Younger sibling of an old dear friend, not to get into the past however...

So... to his dismay, Tohma was reduced to calling Ryuichi. Ryuichi was never one to be bred. He always had something to do, no matter how litter, or how much free time he had at any given time. And Ryuichi KNEW Tohma, and relatively what he liked, and did not like, to do. He'd expected the brunette to suggest something normal for him, but even as he thought ut, he knew that NOTHING was ever normal coming out of his mouth.

Ryuichi had greeted him happily over the phone. Tohma gave a sigh of relief just from the silence breaking. Ryuichi had listed calmly to his predicament, and laughed at him for not knowing how to entertain himself.

"Well... you could write down the things that amuse you! Ten of them! It'll be fun, you'll have a really good laugh! I do it all the time!" He had suggested.

Tohma had wanted to bang his head on the desk before him at his idiotic suggestion. But... it WAS something to do.

So here he sat, at his computer, doing something only Ryuichi could think up...

_**Simple Amusements of Tohma Seguchi:**_

1. When I come to work at four in the morning and Mr. Sakano is already here, ready with tea.

It's times like that where I truly wonder...Does he even ever leave? Is he homeless? I should ask him some day... He's never NOT been at NG before my arrival.

2. When I allow myself into Eiri's apartment in the morning (after Shindou leaves of course...) and he's still asleep.

His adorable sleep looks take me back to the good days when we shared a bed in New York and he was still kind. He's never once lost his innocence so much that it wasn't still there while he slept. Although he's cold during the day, and has such hard eyes, he seems so gentle and happy as he mumbles in his sleep.

Oh how I miss it...

Damned Kitazawa...

3. When I imply to Shindou that I'm 'sleeping' with Eiri.

Kami knows that the only time Eiri and I could possible get it on with each other would be if he were severely drunk, or comatose, and my dear brother-in-law would kill me if I took advantage of him in his dazed drunken state, or medical emergencies, no matter how tempting...heehee...

4. Kittens.

Cute little fuzz balls that cuddle with you, but can turn 'Pet Cemetery' on you in .03 seconds, resulting in multiple lacerations and possible death.

Reminds me of family...

5. The look on Mika's face years ago after the 'Be There' concert encore...

She was so very, very horrified... but I would have honestly never thought she'd be there, no pun intended, as she'd never had the urge to see us play in concert before. And I REALLY didn't expect poor little Tatsuha to be there either...

I tainted the poor child's mind for eternity...

I must now protect Ryuichi from the perverted creature that I unintentionally, unwillingly, created...

Good times none the less...

6. The flustered panicked look on Eiri's face whenever I trick him into acting like his old self.

I've lost count of how many pecks on the cheek I've stolen, or the times he's fallen asleep with his head in my lap. Upon realizing his mistake, he goes beat red and all embarrassed like...so cute...

He also has the softest hair...

7. My cousin.

Sugaru is like a young me. That is enough to earn respect right there. However, he tends to act older than even I do. He'll probably go grey at an early age, and end up with far more wrinkles than I'll ever get in due time. He gets too stressed out too easily, and panics. Regretfully, he seems to be picking up on Mr. Sakano's personality as well. So long as he isn't in need of therapy, I'll let him continue on as his life leads him.

I pity him for constantly putting up with the combined forces of Shindou, Sakano, and K...

I'd go insane...

8. Ryuichi.

His...personality... has well worsened over the years... It seems as though he gets younger every year that he gets older. But one minute with him can cheer you up, no matter how bad of a day you've had. But nothing can erase my constant fear of him when we're on stage...

Like kittens, he can go evil in .03 seconds...

I have the constant fear that he'll attack and manhandle me on stage again, ( Be There concert yet again...) though it was Noriko's fault the one time he did... but still... it may take a lot to unnerve and embarrass me, but being freed from most of my clothes and molested on stage by your singer (and ex...love interest, mind you) in front of a full house including your wife and her youngest brother, is a dramatizing event, no matter what went through my head at the time.

9. Sakano. Again...

Though he's Bad Luck's producer, he spends more time with me in my office than a flea stays stuck to a dog. He's like a personal servant sometimes, even though I don't ask him to. He won't let me do much by myself...

He's like a puppy following it's master... It's kinda cute. He even buys me random things at random times if he thinks I'd like it, which I always do, but he does this even though I have more money than him... The time he bought me a thick white fluffy blanket, when he found me asleep under my office desk was wonderful, and I was truly grateful (despite having to frantically calm him down and assure him that I was not indeed dead and murdered by some rival company such as XMR). Sometimes I really want to give him a vacation, he needs, and deserves one, but he'd probably die if I even suggested it.

10. Noriko's daughter Saki.

That little girl is the most adorable thing I've seen. She puts up with a lot at home with her parents and their crazy lifestyles. I honestly hadn't expected Noriko to have children, of all people, before I myself, or other acquaintances of ours (of course...we will die of shock if Ryuichi EVER has children, so we were not expecting him first), but Noriko has done an excellent job of being a mother despite her musical career, and her much older husband.

I don't know how she does it, but I give the little girl credit. She's the cutest thing.

I have unfortunately been seeing her hang around little Michael, the Winchester kid, and son of 2 gun crazy Americans. Although he has shown no sign of joining in on his parents' disturbing lifestyles, I can only fear for the future.

...end... I think...

Tohma sighed and rested his head in his hands, looking back over the answers and chuckling. Unfortunately, as Ryuichi had limited the list to 10 things, he was now finished...and now, again, had nothing more to do with himself.

Yep, he was really bored...


	2. Dinner in a cheap,loud,public place? HA!

It was another one of THOSE days...

A week past his deadline, with his editor bugging him nonstop to get things done AND of course the ever annoying Shuichi Shindou pestering him for some good quality time.

All in all a bug me, and I'll mess you up, kind of day.

Yuki had already plowed though 2 pots of coffee in the last few hours, as well chain smoked his way through nearly 2 full pack of cigarettes, giving the room a slightly foggy layer at standing head level.

He'd sat staring at the screen for 20 minutes now, with not a single word added in that time. It was frustrating, to say the least, and he squeezed the bridge of his nose.

He'd had a bad morning too. Shuichi Shindou, Japan's number one idiot, had woken him up at the crack of dawn to ask him if he, Eiri Yuki, would go to dinner with him and his long haired guitarist friend.

First off, why would HE go to dinner in a cheap, loud, public place, JUST with Shuichi? And then add in the best friend? Seriously, did the hair dye go to his brain?

He grumbled to himself, recalling the large amount of screaming and whining that had occurred earlier in the day due to his simple 'NO!' answer with no elaboration...

He could have been fully truthful about his opinion of the matter. But, after all, "Not in a million years, not if this was our last day living, not even if the restaurant was filled with only you and beautiful young women, and all of the aforementioned were naked, not even I were blind, deaf, and suffering from alzheimers, I will NEVER gout out to a public dinner with you!" would be enough to send Shuichi into a semi-suicidal manic rampage, and he couldn't deal with that right now...

He shuddered.

He did NOT look forward to the next few days where the 'Pink One' would be sulking pitifully around the house whining in displeasure.

Out of nowhere, a shrill ringing filled the room, startling Yuki so much, his glasses slipped off and clattered to the floor.

He growled, picking them up setting them on the desk, and turned towards his cell phone. He glanced at the name of the caller, and resisted the urge to bang his head on the desk next to his glasses.

Now, the day had been bad enough as is without his least favorite blonde calling him as he was attempt to write...

He attempted to ignore it. If he clicked ignore, it would let him know he knew he was calling. Unfortunately, Tohma Seguchi was not one to give up, and Yuki, for the sake of his sanity, finally decided to pick up the phone, as it rang for the twenty-seventh time...

He REALLY needed to stop forgetting to turn on his voice mail...

"What do you want, Seguchi?" He growled.

Tohma chuckled lightly on the other end of the line and tsked.

"Not glad to hear from me, hmm? Bad day I suppose?" Tohma smiled weakly as he closed his laptop.

Yuki snorted.

"Bad morning... right now's normal I suppose. Can't write a damned thing though..." He sighed and pushed his reading glasses back up onto the top of his head, deciding to give up hope of furthering his plot for the moment.

"Really? Maybe you should take a break and do something else?" He asked, fidgeting with a pen that had been resting atop his desk.

Yuki glowered at the computer screen, as if Tohma's life essence resided in it.

"And what would this something else be? I'm not going to jump up and go somewhere with you, if that's what you're getting at..."

Tohma chuckled.

"No, of course not. I was just implying that you should perhaps write something else for the time being. It will get your mind off the task at hand."

Yuki raised an eyebrow.

"Can you get to the point? I don't have time for your mindless chatter..." He frowned and rubbed his temples.

"Well," he started, resisting the slight giggle forming in his throat, " someone's cranky...Anyway, you could write a list of things that amuse you. Nobody would ever see them, but you'd get a slight laugh out of seeing all of those things together on your screen at once. It will get your mind off your novel, and rid you of your writer's block."

Yuki felt like hanging up...

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Did you get that from your psychologically damaged man-child of a singer? To this day, I still wonder what that idiot's on... no one could possible act the way he does without assistance."

Tohma gasped.

"How could you even suggest that Ryuichi's on drugs! That's absurd! Now really... try it! I just did it not five minutes ago." He smiled, trying to picture the frustrated Eiri in his head. Despite getting yelled at, Tohma still found his extreme emotions adorable...

Yuki's eyes narrowed.

"You're kidding..." Yuki snorted in amusement.

Tohma frowned in disgust.

"I did! Here, I'll even read you one to you to prove myself! Let's see... oh well, I shut the computer down, but I remember them... Number two, When I allow myself into Eiri's apartment in the morning and he's still asleep. His adorable look-"

"Alright!" he screamed suddenly, "I get the point! You're more screwed up then I thought! I'm hanging up now... you're frustrating me even more! Damn you and your sick fantasies!"

CLICK!

Tohma smiled and shut his phone.

Eiri could be so cute sometimes...

He leaned back into his chair and glanced at the clock.

"He'll do it..."

-x-x-x-x-x-


	3. School Girl outfits and women's panties

Yuki grumbled as he took the time to set up his voice mail.

He did NOT want to deal with anymore annoying phone calls for the rest of the night. Tohma would surly try calling him again later, as he always did.

He sighed and stared down at the computer screen once more.

"Damn it.." He glared at the unfinished novel document with hatred, and preceded to open up a new document file.

It couldn't hurt, could it?

He groaned and began to type Tohma's 'foolish' idea.

**Amusements:** _Tohma's fucking annoying, tempting idea..._

1- ... (Kami, this is so stupid...)

Yuki stared at the lone number, eyes narrowing.

"Damn it! I'm not doing it!" He stood up, tossed the reading glasses onto the desk, and walked his way into the kitchen, getting a beer from the fridge. He sighed and leaned against the counter, staring at the white walls.

He frowned.

"Seguchi's insane..." He grumbled to himself, and fumbled around in his pocket for his cigarettes.

"Damn..." He sighed.

He'd left them on his desk...He groaned and stomped back to his study, beer in hand, and glared at the cancer sticks that had somehow left themselves at the accursed laptop.

'Wait.. Left themselves? Damned all nighters...' He snorted in weak amusement and slumped back into his computer chair, lighting one of the cigarettes and taking a long drag.

"Damn it all to hell..." he growled, and stared back at the laptop screen, the blank white screen and flashing text line beckoning him.

"Fine..."

1- (Kami, this is so stupid...) Fine... Let's see...Mika, when hell freezes over for its weekend winter, when I'm somehow tricked into going home. (Why won't that Bastard croak?) She can never wake me up, and her face screws up like a pug's. I smirk every time I wake up in the morning at the thought that I know Seguchi has to see it everyday... Heh, heh... Take that! That look can give people nightmares...

Yuki smirked.

Sisters...

2-Okay...this...is still stupid...But (Dare I say it?) T...Tohma...I really don't know what screwed up his mind, but I wait for the day I find out he's really the Godfather... he at least acts like it... Around other people... But, he can just pop up. Really, you could be in the most unlikely place, and he'll show up bearing cake...(where is he when you need him? Haven't gone grocery shopping...) That's NOT normal... I sometimes wonder if he has a tracking device on me now... he seems to ALWAYS kniw where I am, even when I take steps to hide where I've gone. Ever since my New York incident he's been even more over protective than before, and his dedication has gone way past the point of frightening. Maybe he even has surveillance cameras...Wait! I don't even want to think of that! Damn... nightmares for a week now... Oh well (Insert large sigh...) Wouldn't put it past him...

Yuki shuddered and glanced around the room quickly, observing all corners of the room, lighting another cigarette, and sipping his beer as he stared at the laptop screen.

'Okay, so maybe this is a bit amusing...just a little... and a bit...abnormal?' He sighed and his fingers hit the keyboard again.

3- I'm losing my mind... this was definitely cooked up by that psycho man-child... Okay, I'll admit it...Shuichi. He's damn annoying most of the time, and as much as I hate his whining, he thinks up the strangest damned things in the world. Some, I have to withhold a laugh at...( I don't dare even snicker, as it would send him sky high in happiness, and then he'd try to hard ruining the amusement.) The outfits... they're horrendous! Bananas, batteries, dogs... even cats, but my personal favorite? The damned school girl outfit... Not that I 'LIKED' it, it was just... amusing... ALRIGHT! It was fucking hilarious... he shaved his legs and everything, even down to the women's underwear. In my opinion, he should have just forgotten them. (Smirk) Damn... Oh well, so what... It turned me on a bit, no harm done, it just wasn't the proper time to do anything about it... (Damned Aizawa...) But yes... He's MY Brat, even down to his horrible writing, he's mine... and Seguchi can't do shit about it...

Yuki smirked at the mental image of Schoolgirl Shuichi, then shook his mind free of it.

"Not right now..."

4-... Damn... do I really have anything else? Possibly...Let's think...Ah! Seguchi's lap dog! Heh, heh... I've never seen such a pitiful man in my entire life. He worships the ground that Tohma walks on. He's pretty much a personal servant, or maybe even a maid. Then again, if Tohma asked him to, he'd probably dress as one... I wouldn't put it past Tohma to do so either. I'm not entirely sure that Tohma is oblivious to the man's infatuation. Maybe if he's a good enough servant, Seguchi will play along. Seriously, if the guy doesn't get laid soon, he may blow a circuit in his brain. (Note to self: Enlighten Seguchi, it may get him off my back by blowing off some of his sexual frustrations...)

5- God... there's more... amazing...Okay, I'll say Tatsuha. His obsession with the man-child is sick. I don't mean the age difference, or the fact that the guy is clinically insane, I'm talking about the extent of his obsession. Every CD, every music video, every poster, and every concert... It's scary... but very amusing all the same. The Old Man thinks that he's the normal one, and he plays his part well.

But I'm laughing inside.

Every time I hear him talk about how I should be more like Tatsuha, I resist the urge to laugh in his face.

If he only knew...

Simple pleasures of life...

Although, Tatsuha is not to blame. If Seguchi hadn't let the man-child damn near screw him on stage in Tatsuha's presence, that obsession may have not formed, and he'd be a good little monk boy.

Then again, maybe not...with our family, something else would have warped him...

Yuki sighed.

'Okay... maybe it is a good laugh...'

He paused.

"Damn...five more huh? Damn Tohma to hell for setting a length goal..."

6- Still not done...Fuck... okay... Back to the Brat again. I wonder if he's color-blind... some of his clothes are just plain sad... he has no sense of color coordination, and the colors themselves are just too damned bright. I now wonder if they glow in the dark (I may never know. When there's no light, he's either in plain pajamas, or nothing at all... damn it, there I go again...) What ever happened to the darks? For someone who worships that damned singer of Tohma's, (Thankfully not as much as my brother...) He sure doesn't dress like him. At least on stage the guy looks sane... (Note to self #2: Hint to Shuichi that leather pants are a turn on... it ought to knock SOME sense into that thick head of his... and I may no longer get a head ache just by looking at him)

"YUUUUUKKKKIIIII! I'm home!" rang through the air.

Yuki's eyes widened, and he nearly tipped the chair over as Shuichi's excited footsteps came rapidly toward the office door.

He paled and glanced at the computer screen. He would NEVER live it down if Shuichi, of all people, caught sight of the disturbing file of private thoughts.

7- Not finished, but... to be continued? Maybe some day...

He sighed and frantically saved, and closed the document, possibly to continue it at a later date.

Shuichi flung the door open and dove at Yuki, landing happily in his lap. He happened to see the computer behind his lover still on and frowned.

"Yuki? You're STILL writing! You've been doing that for days now! And...and... you meanie! You wouldn't come to dinner! Yuki, you- mmph!"

Shuichi's whining immediately stopped as Yuki grabbed the collar of his shirt and crushed his lips against his complaining mouth. He pulled away and smirked at the flustered look on Shuichi's face.

"Quit complaining and get over it. You're not amusing when you're whining like that, okay? But... you know what IS amusing?" Yuki's smirk grew.

' Damn amusing dirty thoughts getting the best of me...'

Shuichi smirked back.

"Maybe..."


	4. Cross Dressing, Gun Wielding Americans

Shuichi awoke the next morning in Yuki's comfortable bed, his blonde lover already missing in action. He yawned and made his way toYuki's study where he was more than likely to be found typing away at his novel.

"Yuki?" He asked, peering into the small room to see that as he had thought, the novelist was already working on his over-due book.

The blonde paused and looked up at the pink haired uke.

"What?" He frowned, pausing from his work.

Shuichi smiled.

"I'm going to start getting ready! I have to work again today... meanie K..." Shuichi sighed.

"And this involves me knowing, why?" Yuki raised an eyebrow as Shuichi blinked.

"Just thought you ought to know... ya know?" He smiled weakly as the blonde began to glare at him.

He sighed and looked up into Shuichi' violet eyes.

"Then just go get ready... you know how far behind I am..."

Shuichi grinned and nodded his head.

"Okay!"

Yuki sighed.

Did he HAVE to narrate his life?

He groaned and enjoyed the next hour worth of peace, before Shuichi came bouncing back into the room, clad in one of his oh so bright outfits.

Yuki mentally cringed, and managed to not growl at the bouncing singer.

"What do you want now? I've only managed to finish ONE chapter... I don't have time for your whining...

Shuichi frowned.

"I don't have to leave until K comes and gets me! I wanted to spend time with you! Otherwise I'll be really, REALLY bored..." Shuichi grinned as he ran and huggled him.

Yuki groaned.

"I can't entertain you at the moment! I have work to do. Go... entertain yourself with something.

Shuichi began to pout.

"But there's nothing to do Yuki!" His voice grew louder.

Yuki shuddered as an idea popped into his mind.

'Damn Sakuma's taking over the world with some amusement cult...'

"How about this... Until the trigger happy American shows up, amuse yourself by writing down the very things that amuse your lame ass... Many people do it, me NOT being one of them, but it seems right up your alley of stupidity. And if you're not done before you go to work, you can finish it when your writing skills are COMPLETELY gone, and you can't write a damn sentence. Just please, don't turn it into some fucked up song... I'll die, and you don't want that, and neither do I... The worst thing in the world would be you crying and getting snot all over my coffin..." Yuki mentally laughed as Shuichi grew a few shades lighter.

Shuichi shook his head violently, to get the image of 'Dead Yuki' out of his head and let go of the angered novelist.

"Okay! I'll do that! It could be fun! No song... got it..." He smiled and bounced out of the room, giving Yuki back his much needed peace and quiet.

"Freedom..." Yuki sighed.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Shuichi smiled and plopped own on the couch, notepad in hand.

"Okay... things amusing... things that amuse me... alright!

1-Yuki, when he cooks! He's always so cute! He gets this kitten-like look while he's smoking, and that bandana and apron... it's just so funny! But he gets annoyed a lot easier, and he gets all scary quicker...

Shuichi giggled lightly and chewed on the pen cap as he thought.

"Alright! Tatsuha!"

2-Tatsuha! He's even more obsessed with Ryuichi than I am! He goes into a spastic fanboy mode even at the slightest mention of his name. He's sooooo in love! I really SHOULD tell Ryu, but I fear Tohma killing me in my sleep... Somehow he has keys to the apartment...I don't like dwelling on that...

Shuichi glanced at his cell phone and sighed.

Should he risk the wrath of Tohma?

Maybe later...

3- Hiro's brother, Yuji! He can be really stupid and funny sometimes. He can act, and he's trying be an actor, but the acting skills come and go randomly, and not when he needs them, and he's also quite perverted... I feel sorry for him...And Mrs. Nakano's quite scary and evil... I'm not sure how Hiro managed to grow up in that household. He did spend an awful lot of time in my room rather than hom,e so I probably somehow contribute to his normalcy...maybe...

Shuichi grinned and hummed as he wrote. Yuki had been right, this was fun. As he moved the pencil towards the paper to start on number 4, he was shocked into motion as the front doors flew open, gun wielding Blonde at its opening. Shuichi screamed as this went down and ducked under the table only to be roughly yanked out from underneath it by K.

Shuichi yelped, and threw the notepad and pen in his oversized pocket, then allowed K to drag him out the door, and down to his car.

He spent the next five minutes fearing for his life as K nearly slammed into a eighteen wheeler, seventeen cars, two motorcycles, and an old lady, before arriving at NG and being dragged into the studio.

Shuichi immediately flung himself at Hiro and hugged him.

"K tried to get us killed again! Can't you convince him to let YOU pick me up for work? I'm no good if I'm in the hospital with injuries or a heart attack..." He whimpered and the guitarist patted his head in a consoling manner.

"No can do Shuichi. I don't have the time to add another task to my morning schedule, sorry." Hiro smiled sympathetically as Shuichi began to pout.

"Mr. Shindou... please refrain from whining the whole day. Not all of us are in the mood for it..." Fugisaki sighed as he sat down on the couch next to Hiro.

Shuichi gave a nervous laugh and smiled as Mr. Sakano stepped into the room.

"The world is doomed... we'll never make it... I'll be fired, and Seguchi will never forgive me! I'm a useless producer-" Sakano rambled on as he dramatically began to tornado across the room.

Shuichi blinked and looked to Hiro who only sighed and shook his head. The day was off to an awkward start, and everyone was insane...

"Seguchi expects a song within four days... Sakano has no faith, as you can see."

Shuichi giggled and pulled out the notepad once more.

4- Sakano...enough said...

Sakano suddenly stopped his tornado mode and stared at Shuichi, tears running down his face.

"Shindou! It's a miracle! You're writing! Maybe there IS some hope..." He smiled weakly and fainted

Shuichi snickered, and K smirked. Fugisaki on the other hand flew out to catch the man and pulled him onto the couch, fanning him with a note pad.

"Well! I'll leave you to your work." K laughed as he bowed and left the room.

Through the window...

Shuichi laughed nervously and continued his earlier work.

5-K! He may be the scariest man alive, but some of the things he says and does kill me! (No pun intended... giggle...) Like the time he dressed as a giant pink cat, and when he got fixated on bubble wrap... (darn... wish I was there for that...) And then when he cross-dressed and pretended to be Hiro's girlfriend so me and Yuki could go on a date. And now he jumped out the window... Americans...

But we love him anyway.

6- The Numa-Numa song... How can that NOT amuse you?

I once came to work early because Yuki demanded to drive me to work (secretly I think he just needed some alone time) and he literally punted me out of the car...I got to work 3 hours early, the doors had only just been unlocked.

I did what common sense told me to do, and went to our office to find Mr. Sakano. I was barely able to control my laughter, as Sakano was dancing vigorously to the Numa Numa song. After he realized I was there, he made some lame excuse that he was 'working out'

LIES!

Can't the guy just admit he was having fun?

7- Hiro, my dear best friend since forever. We've done soooo many fun things together. For the longest time, our parents thought we were gay lovers... and that was BEFORE I fell in love with Yuki. At this point, I wasn't NOT gay, or remotely interested in guys... good times... Annoying his mother used to be so fun too...

Shuichi laughed and Hiro raised an eyebrow at him.

"Listen, I'm going to go get some food... I'll pick some up for you and our depressed keyboardist too, okay?" he chuckled at Shuichi's panicked look as he stood up.

Shuichi grinned and nodded.

"Alright! Food!" He grinned and continued.

'Seguchi?' Shuichi thought to himself.

Yes... Seguchi...

8- Tohma's hat. He could hold a lot of things in it if he wanted to! Like... a lot of water! He could even hide things... I sometimes wonder if he keeps strawberry shortcake in it! That's the only explanation I can come up with to explain the random disappearance of Yuki when he goes to put away Tohma's coat and hat when he comes over, and it takes over half an hour for him to return...(would a cake in a hat be sanitary?) Oh! Or maybe Yuki's trying them on! God I've got a sick mind... Maybe Yuki just hates him and tries to disappear. Yeah... that's probably it... Hopefully...

Shuichi shuddered.

Yuki would not look good in that hat...

9- Kumagoru! He's pink, he's fuzzy, he's a bunny! And he's Ryuichi's favorite! He always has him, except on stage! Yuki's seems scared of him...I try to tell him it's just a bunny, but Yuki still hates him. I wonder why?

10- MY YUKI! As a person, he's the most amusing! Especially in the morning! He's all cute and fuzzy, and he chews his pillow. He mumbles things, and it's so cute, I can't help but drool... (grins) And then, then, when he accidently does something embarrassing, he gets all cute and flustered. AND no matter what Tohma says, he's MY YUKI! MY YUKI! MINE, MINE ,MINE, MINE , MIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!

Shuichi yelped suddenly as Fugisaki smacked him in the head with a book.

"Shindou! Write a song! Not mindless rambling!"

Shuichi looked up at him in horror.

"But...how did you know! Are you psychic?" Shuichi gasped dramatically, although Fugisaki wasn't sure if he was being Serious or not.

"Shindou...I know you're not writing anything worth while when you start screaming that Yuki is yours. God, you don''t even notice yourself doing it, and that's sad..." He grumbled.

Shuichi smacked himself in the forehead.

He'd done that out loud?


	5. A Normal Teenage Manga Lover

Hello! Back again with the next chapter of Simple Amusements!

Hope that you all enjoy this chapter, and continue to read until this story is complete!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shuichi whimpered and rubbed his head where Fugisaki had hit him.

"You know that I can't write under such short notice! It makes me nervous... I'm just kinda calming myself... okay?" he laughed nervously, hoping Fugisaki would understand.

Fugisaki raised an eyebrow.

"Calming yourself? Doing what?" His eyes narrowed.

He didn't trust Shindou in the slightest...

Shuichi grinned sheepishly.

"Well... I was just writing down the ten things that amuse me most... It really works. Wether you're bored, or nervous, or whatever... it makes you smile to see all the funny things at once."

Fugisaki blinked.

"I've never heard of such an idiotic thing." He growled.

Shuichi laughed again, rubbing that back of his head..

"Well, I found it fun. I'm done now... so I guess I need to start writing songs, huh?"

Fugisaki glared and nodded his head.

"Of course! The sooner you start, the larger the chance is you'll actually do it..." He grumbled and stomped away, leaving a nervous Shuichi behind.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Suguru sighed and sat down at the opposite side of the room, picking up a stack of notebook paper as he went. He picked up a pen and glanced across the room at the struggling Shuichi, then down at the paper.

He sighed.

Could something so stupid make you happy?

He doubted it, but continued all the same...

_X-x-x- Some weird 'happiness' idea Shindou cooked up... -x-x-X_

_-Sugaru Fugisaki_

_1-Amusements huh? Well... let's see... well, I think I'll start with our producer, Mr. Sakano. It's sad to say that I find his pathetic antics amusing, but I do... he needs HELP and he needs it now... Maybe I should ask my cousin to get him a therapist, then Sakano will actually go... He's in love with poor Tohma, I swear it! (Another reason why he needs help...)_

Fugisaki paused and stared at the paper.

'Okay...so it's a LITTLE funny... but not that much...'

He sighed and lifted the pen once more.

_2- Well... I'll say K, which is sad as well. I hope with every fiber of my being that ALL Americans are not as crazy and reckless as him... He is clinically insane, and he doesn't seem to get the fact that we have a musical career... I don't know how many more television shows I can handle being on... where music is NOT involved, mind you..._

_3- Years ago, watching my cousin sit at his keyboard as he wrote a new song. He would get so frustrated sometimes and he'd do many things you normally wouldn't see him do. I've never seen anyone drink so much coffee in one night, and I've also never heard him curse so much... he normally never shows his frustration like normal people, he usually uses that creepy hereditary smile of our family for that. So therefore, those sudden random strings of curse words that could kill a nun amuse me._

Fugisaki smiled.

Only slightly, but it was there...

Kami knows that if anyone else had seen the same thing, they'd laugh their asses off as well...

'Ah... memories...'

_4-Nakano. The way he manages to put up with Shindou's constant insanity, even way before the rest of us knew him, is completely amazing. He treats the moron like a child! Though I have to admit, it seems to have worked wonders on our crazed singer..._

_5- My cousin's clothes. They're too...rich and animally... all fur and feathers matched with some sort of strange hat and gloves. For the love of Kami, it reminds me of my mother. Or Grandmother... Those items are strictly supposed to mean 'woman'... not preppy music star rich boy...how many poor foxes had to die for him?_

Fugisaki shuddered.

Disturbing thoughts...

_6- Tatsuha, Tohma's brother-in-law. Normal at a first glance... psychotic rabid fanboy the next. He's manipulative, and a bit masochistic. Like I have said, he's quite normal at times, but mention Ryuichi Sakuma, and the sky comes down around him. Dare I say it? Yes, he's worse than Shindou. My fear levels skyrocket with him around the building..._

_7- Mr Sakuma. Though he disturbs the hell out of me... having him around all the time makes me feel as though he's some sort of a pet to us all... especially when he prances around in that bunny suit of his... He isn't stupid, I can tell that much. He knows way too many things to put him on the idiot list like Shindou, so the only word I can use to describe him is 'INSANE'. Plain and simple..._

_No amount of professional help could make that man normal.. In fact... any therapist in charge of him would have to be committed after seeing him. He'd drive them crazy._

Suguru was so into his own little world that he nearly leapt out of his seat as Hiro chose to slam the door to the studio open, obviously having had to open the door with his foot, baring the food he had set out to retrieve. Poor man had both arms crammed full of bags, and he struggled to reach the table without dropping things.

Hiro eyed him curiously, but walked past him to relieve his arms of his load.

Suguru returned his gaze to the paper in front of him and laughed nervously.

_8-Let's see... Mr. Yuki then. He's the only person in the universe that can turn my dear cousin into some groveling fan boy. The whole scene is the most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed in my life, no matter how un-often I get to see it. Groveling Tohma...heh..._

_9-...uh...fine... manga... I have at least a few normal teenage activities that I'll participate in, and manga reading is one of them. I frequently laugh my ass off in the privacy of my own home... with no one else in the premises...no one..._

He took in a deep breath, and slowly let out a long sigh.

_10- Shindou... for thinking up such a stupid, ridiculous way of spending free time... though it was a SLIGHT laugh... very SLIGHT..._

Great...

Just... great...

He did honestly feel better and more relaxed after Shuichi's odd writing exercise, but was still unnerved...

If anyone ever found this, he was as good as black mailed...

Fugisaki sighed.

"Oh well... I just won't let that happen then..."

A shadow suddenly spread across the notebook in his lap and he froze.

"Let what happen? Tell, or face extreme consequences."

Damn...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Aww! Poor Fugisaki...bad things always happen to the poor boy...

Review please, as it lets me know that you're all enjoying this fic!

~~~~~~Also, if you are into Gundam Wing, please read my co-authored fic, 'With or Without You'

With or Without You is co-authored with _AnitaRealityCheck_. It is posted on her account, so please read and review it there! No slash, all het. pairings


	6. LASERS!

I'm Back! Again...lol...

After this chapter, and the next, I will have no more of this story typed.

Does that mean I will discontinue it?

NEVER!

Not until I'm done.

Your job now?

Help me pick the next victims of this insanity!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Fugisaki nearly leapt out of his skin as K placed a hand on his shoulder.

"K-san! Uh...nothing... forget it. Really..." He stuttered, looking up at the blonde, who was clearly not convinced.

"So... avoiding confrontation are we? Must I confiscate the document you are withholding from me, or will you politely, and safely, tell me what it contains?" K smirked and put his hands on his hips.

Fugisaki paled.

"Well... uh... you see..." He stumbled.

"Yeah? Get on with it! Or do I have to persuade you further?" He laughed as his hand inched towards his gun holster.

Fugisaki jumped and shook his head frantically.

"No! No, no, no! It's fine! Well, you see... I was making a list of the simple things that amuse me... it's nothing... just ten little things, and they're quite private...if you don't mind... I had nothing else to do while Shindou takes his sweet time to write our song, so it wasn't as though I was slacking off..."

K blinked.

"Thing's that amuse you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yes sir..." Fugisaki paled and began to slowly inch away from the American, clutching his list to he chest.

K smiled.

"Well, if that's all then, carry on! I'll just... go amuse myself with other activities!" K laughed and turned back out of the room.

Fugisaki blinked, sinking to the floor in relief..

"Why do I know such strange people..."

-x-x-x-

Sitting in his security 'layer' underneath NG, K grinned as he glanced down at the note pad in front of him.

"Leave it to the Boss Man's cousin to think up something fun to do! Let's see now..." he trailed off, chewing on his eraser.

_Amusements? Plenty! _

_1- First off, my #1 favorite in activities is pumping mindless idiots full of lead! Watch the bystanders (which are never innocent...) Flee!_

"Heh..." He grinned

_2-Leather, feathers, fur_.

_Know who I mean?_

_Great guy, great guy... very, VERY amusing... Gotta love the boss man..._

Speaking of Tohma, he hadn't seen him in the building at all today...

He flicked on the security screens that made up the walls of his chambers.

Nope...

No Seguchi is the vicinity...

He frowned.

Oh well...

_3- Livin' life to the Harlem beat... nothing beats growing up in a war-zone of criminals._

_Ah... New York... good times..._

_4- Ark._

_Ex-fellow CIA member, bodyguard, and...children's book writer!_

_Always was a softy down deep... damn gorilla..._

K chuckled.

Who would have ever thought that the guy had a soft spot for kids?

Too bad his own hated his guts, as the poor kid had to spend most days with the man, driving him nuts.

"Ah... fun, fun!"

_5- Producer man! Needs serious psychological help, but a funny guy none the less. He should be grey by now... he doesn't react too well to my methods...heh... I keep waiting for the day that my antics set him off into cardiac arrest...I should have Seguchi 'revive' him..._

_6- Reiji's Panda. Wonderful piece of artillery!_

_Too bad it's in the form of a fluffy animal... definitely not suitable for a man... had enough fluffy influence from the rabbit..._

K paused momentarily.

He sincerely hoped Ryuichi never got it into his head that a giant Kumagoru robot was needed in the universe...

Although...

Kumagoru vs. Panda-chan would be an excellent battle...

No!

He shook the thoughts from his head before his imagination could get ahead of him.

'Must forget all thoughts of giant robots in animal form...we are NOT Power Rangers...'

_7- My wife._

_She knows me so well! Just yesterday she sent Ark (he's apparently now her errand boy...-laughs-) to give me a gift she bought! A brand new, perfectly shiny and accurate Ruger P Series LG-389! Lasers, whoot!_

_-Huggles the pretty gun...-_

"Damn Ark gets to be around her all the time too... Bastardic manwhore..."

_8- Ninjas._

_Don't ask..._

_-Nervous laugh-_

K blinked as he glanced at one of the many security screens in front of him to see Sakano cleaning Tohma's office in the man's absence.

On days that Tohma Seguchi was missing, Sakano frequently took to doing errands in the man's office.

He believed it was because Sakano thought he could FEEL Tohma's essence in the room even though he was gone.

Creepy little man...

Only...

This time, in the process of sweeping, he was... singing into the broom.

K blinked once again.

"See... this is why he's so damn amusing...heh..."

_9- Ryuichi. As much as I hate to admit it, he scares people more than I do... Sadly..._

_He even gets Seguchi going... damn him for his bravery..._

_I love the guy, he's always been a good time. He seems to just attract the action! Damn fanboys and girls flocking around him... The perfect target practice! I only wish people higher up would tempt me..._

_-sigh-_

_10- Bubble wrap._

_A pleasure to pop, and even more so when used to bound and gag a prisoner! Missed my chance to have my fun with Shuichi... damn that Yuki for putting a stop to it..._

K sighed and looked down at his list, then back up at the screen where Sakano had begun to dance as he swept and sung.

"Hmm...Maybe I should Spread the happy...then again, maybe tomorrow...this is too funny to interrupt. Needs popcorn..." K grinned as he reached into one of the side cabinets, pulling out a bag of the wanted popcorn, then he tossed it into the microwave at his side.

"What a show!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I think this story has the shortest chapters out of any of my stories... guess it'

s because I deal with minimal characters and plot lines per chapter...

Some of the later chapters may ve more longish though... I have more plans for this story other than lists :)

Remember! As you review, mention who you'd like to see next!


	7. We weren't allowed pets as kids

I have returned once more!

Back to the amusement!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Yuki blinked lazily as he once again found himself staring blankly at his computer screen in frustration. After four long hours, he had gotten quite a few chapters written, however, as of the past few minutes, he had come upon a blank mind.

He'd lost his train of thought...and it didn't seem to feel like coming back...

"Damn..." He groaned, glaring at the screen.

Where was inspiration when you needed it?

He sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose as he contemplated his next move.

And then...

All problems were solved.

Yuki yawned as reached for the mouse and opened up an almost forgotten document.

_Amusements: Tohma's fucking annoying, tempting idea..._

Yuki quickly reread his previous entrees, reviewing the simple amusements in his head as he began to all ready think up his remaining four...

_1- (Kami, this is so stupid...) Fine... Let's see...Mika when hell freezes over for its weekend winter when I'm somehow tricked into going home. (Why won't that Bastard croak?) She can never wake me up, and her face screws up like a pug's. I smirk every time I wake up in the morning at the thought that I know Seguchi has to see it everyday... Heh, heh... Take that! That look can give people nightmares..._

_2-Okay...this...is still stupid...But (Dare I say it?) T...Tohma...I really don't know hat screwed up his mind, but I wait for the day I find out he's the Godfather... he at least acts like it... Around other people... But, he can just pop up. Really, you could be in the most unlikely place, and he'll show up bearing cake...(where is he when you need him? Haven't gone grocery shopping...) That's NOT normal... I sometimes wonder if he has a tracking device on me now, ever since my New York incident recently... maybe even surveillance cameras...Wait! I don't even want to think of that! Damn... nightmares for a week now... Oh well (Insert large sigh...) Wouldn't put it past him..._

_3- I'm losing my mind... this was definitely cooked up by that psycho man-child... Okay, I'll admit it...Shuichi. He's damn annoying most of the time, and as much as I hate his whining, he thinks up the strangest damned things in the world. Some, I have to withhold a laugh at... The outfits... they're horrendous! Bananas, batteries, dogs... even cats, but my personal favorite? The damned school girl outfit... Not that I 'LIKED' it, it was just... amusing... ALRIGHT! It was fucking hilarious... he shaved his legs and everything, even down to the women's underwear. In my opinion, he should have just forgotten them. (Smirk) Damn... Oh well, so what... It turned me on a bit, no harm done, it just wasn't the proper time to do anything about it... (Curses Aizawa...) But yes... He's MY Brat, even down to his horrible writing, he's mine... and Seguchi can't do shit about it..._

_4-... Damn... do I really have anything else? Possibly...Let's think...Ah! Seguchi's lap dog! Heh, heh... I've never seen such a pitiful man in my entire life. He worships the ground that Tohma walks on. He's pretty much a personal servant, or maybe even a maid. Then again, if Tohma asked him to, he'd probably dress as one... I wouldn't put it past Tohma to do so either. I'm not entirely sure that Tohma is oblivious to the man's infatuation. Maybe if he's a good enough servant, Seguchi will play along. Seriously, if the guy doesn't get laid soon, he may blow a circuit in his brain. (Note to self: Enlighten Seguchi, it may get him off my back by blowing off some of his sexual frustrations...)_

_5- God... there's more... amazing...Okay, I'll say Tatsuha. His obsession with the man-child is sick. I don't mean the age difference, or the fact that the guy is clinically insane, I'm talking about the extent of his obsession. Every CD, every music video, every poster, and every concert... It's scary... but very amusing all the same. The Old Man thinks that he's the normal one, and he plays his part well._

_But I'm laughing inside._

_Every time I hear him talk about how I should be more like Tatsuha, I resist the urge to laugh in his face._

If he only knew...

Simple pleasures of life...

_6- Still not done...Fuck... okay... Back to the Brat again. I wonder if he's color-blind... some of his clothes are just plain sad... he has no sense of color coordination, and the colors themselves are just too damned bright. I now wonder if they glow in the dark (I may never know. When there's no light, he's either in plain pajamas, or nothing at all... There I go again...) What ever happened to the darks? For someone who worships that damned singer, (Thankfully not as much as my brother...) He sure doesn't dress like him. At least on stage the guy looks sane... (Note to self #2: Hint to Shuichi that leather pant are a turn on... it ought to knock SOME sense into that thick head of his...)_

Yuki paused momentarily before starting to check the time, making sure 'The Brat' would not be home any time soon, and then he turned back to the laptop.

_7- Okay... never expected to ever touch this thing again, but here I am... number seven._

_Shuichi. Yet again..._

_He'll do anything anyone tells him to! The most recent example? The fact that he actually did one of these himself! No doubt that I don't even wanna know... Damn idiotic Brat..._

_What am I going to do with him?_

Yuki sighed. Knowing Shuichi, it would just be mindless drabble...

_8- As much as I loathe the damn mentally fucked up brat, Yoshiki is a bit of a laugh... When he's not impersonating his brother... -shudder- or lecturing me on my romantic skills, I laugh._

_In his face..._

_In the privacy of my own mind..._

_Seeing him really does let me know how screwed up that family is... a sex change... really now..._

_A bit extreme..._

Yuki mentally tried imagine what he'd do to Shuichi if he ever got it in his mind to get tits...

He'd kill him, that's what he'd do...it would give him nightmares...

_9-_

_Okay... so I like cats... So what?_

_You'd find the playful antics of Mr. Meow amusing as well..._

_We weren't allowed pets as kids..._

Yuki grinned.

He TRULY grinned...

_10- Finally! I can rid myself of the burden of finishing this damn thing!_

_Alright! Last amusement?_

_Life!_

_How much more fucked up could it get? _

Yuki was somewhat... proud... of himself. He had finished Tohma's horrid suggestion, and to top it all off, he felt as though he could write some more of his novel!

He quickly saved the new additions to the document, and pulled his novel back up.

However, his pride was short lived...

Yuki froze as an arm snaked its way around his shoulders.

"You know, I never knew how mushy you really could be, Bro!"

-x-x-x-

LOL

Tatsuha can be a total creeper...

His amusement ought to be...interesting...lol...


	8. Gay Kink for my Normally Straight Life

Like I'm saying in ALL of my new chapters for ALL of my stories, I'm SOOOOO sorry for the wait

But wait no longer, for I am finally back and ready to type!

Simple Amusements shall continue on like before!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Tatsuha! What the hell are you doing here!" Yuki snarled, despite the deep blush creeping onto his face.

Tatsuha only grinned.

"Well Aniki, I just so happened to be in the neighborhood, so I decided to come visit my favorite brother!"

"I'm your ONLY brother." he glared, snapping the laptop shut.

Tatsuha rolled his eyes.

"That we know of anyway... never know with our family. The old man's bound to have SOME bastard children roaming around from his younger years. Hell, Mika's probably not even the oldest! He was worse at one point than the two of us put together." He chuckled.

Yuki's eyes narrowed.

"Cut the crap Tatsuha, how the hell did you get in here? The door was locked. I made sure of that after the brat left, specifically to avoid anyone from bugging me in my few hours of peace a day. Don't tell me you're breaking into people homes now. You'll break the old man's heart." he snorted.

Tatsuha only smiled, and dangled a highly populated key-ring in front of his brother's face.

Yuki groaned.

"I don';t even want to think about where all of those go to..." He grimaced.

There had to be 20-30 keys dangling there...

"Everywhere and anywhere bro, but you're avoiding the situation at hand..." he smirked, eyes narrowing mischievously.

"There is NO situation..." he grumbled, lighting a cigarette.

Tatsuha shook his head sadly and sighed.

"Have it your way bro... I have a pretty damn good memory, almost photographic. Shuichi would totally wet himself if he knew what you had wrote. Tohma too!" he cackled.

Yuki resisted the urge to slam his head onto the desk.

"If you so much as utter one word of this, I swear I'll-"

"Tatsuha held up a hand to silence him.

" Sorry. Threats aren't going to work right now. I'm the one with the power currently, and I truly am cheap to pay off, for you at least." he grinned happily.

Yuki eyed him cautiously for a moment, and then sighed.

"What the hell do you want? Last thing I need is either of them coddling me, and so help me Tatsuha, if ANYONE hears any word of what was in that document, I'll shave your head in your sleep, tell the old man all your dirty little secrets, and I'll make sure Tohma bans you from any Nittle Grasper concert OR event in future existence!"

Tatsuha gasped dramatically, and clutched at his heart.

"You wouldn't!" He whined, rocking on his heals.

"I would, and you know it. So make you demands now and get out of my face."

Tatsuha nodded, although still clearly shook up by Yuki's threats.

The old man would never believe that his 'GOOD' son had done a single thing wrong, and hair could always grow back (or he could buy a wig for temp. use) BUT a ban from anything Nittle Grasper by one Tohma Seguchi was something that could not be recovered from.

"Okay...listen, cuz it's totally important! So important, I purposely came here to blackmail you just to make it possible. Little did I know...you were going to make it easy for me..." he laughed nervously. "Look...Nittle Grasper has a concert next week. I totally need to go. Tickets are sold out... completely...there's nothing I can sell to ever hope in being able to have enough money to get one off of anyone. I NEED you to make it possible for me to go. I don't care how you do it, or who you go through to do it, but I MUST be there to revel in the Ryuichiness!" he fell to his knees, clutching Yuki's shirt and shaking it.

Yuki snorted and resisted the urge to laugh.

Tatsuha's obsession with the mentally challenged man was ridiculous...but in situations such as these, he was grateful for Shuichi and his BFF status with the singer. Shuichi already had tickets to the show, for himself and his guitarist friend. However, Ayaka had stolen the man away for that night. Tatsuha had not only solved his black mail issue with this request, but it had also solved the problem of Shuichi continuously begging him to fill the man's seat...not that he'd let Tatsuha know how easy of a request this was...never...

"Fine...you have a deal. I'll figure something out. Satisfied?" He raised an eyebrow at the younger.

"Hell yeah!" He whooped, doing a victory dance happily.

"Great, now leave."

Tatsuha frowned and slid back onto the desk.

"No way! Now that I'm bound to silence, you at least need to let me know what possessed you to write that crap in the first place. It's not like you at all." He smirked.

"Yeah...you would be curious... Damn Tohma told me to do it to get my mind off my latest novel for a bit. He'd done one himself, evidently under the request of that damn singer you love so much..."

Tatsuha gasped and scooted closer to him.

"You're being totally serious! Ryuichi Sakuma, God of Music, requested this document to be written!"

Yuki eyed him warily. He could see the crazed look forming in his brother's eyes. Unfortunately, he knew very well that he must tell all, or face the wrath of the fanboy...

"Yeah... it was his idea in the beginning. I wasn't following anyone's orders though..."

Tatsuha didn't seem to hear him.

"You MUST tell me the details of what must be done! If Ryuichi wants people to write these things, than I must follow his command! What are the instructions, oh wondrous older brother!" Tatsuha's eyes sparkled, and Yuki gulped.

"If it will get you to go away... You are to write a list of 10 things that amuse you, and why. Just 10, no more, no less. Seeing your amusements all together is supposed to make you happy I supposed. Mine's already caused me nothing but drama due to you. Now go home, or where ever else it is you came from and have fun.

Tatsuha only grinned and nodded enthusiastically before flying out the door. Yuki quickly locked the door behind him, and made a mental note to change the locks.

Within moments he heard the pleasant sounds of Tatsuha's motorcycle plowing out of the parking lot at top speed.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Tatsuha slid down into the wooden bench in utter happiness.

Sure, Eiri had kicked him out, but what else was new? He was getting tickets to Nittle Grasper (or else brother dearest would pay dearly) and THE Ryuichi Sakuma had given out a writing assignment, that he'd managed to get a hold of.

"I'd take him as my writing/literature teacher any day..." He sighed, digging through his bag for a pen and a notebook. "This is going to be great!"

**MY LOVELY RYUICHI'S WRITING PROMPT!**

These are my 10 simple amusements that get me through every day life despite the boredom and parental pressure.

WHOOTNESS!

_#1- My darling Ryuichi! If not for him, life itself would be boring and meaningless, and this little paper would never exist. If not for him, I'd be a boring, obedient little monk boy, most likely with a shaved head and no sex drive...the horror... although...any 6 year old subjected to my life that got to see the concert, in person, that I did, would develop a heavy obsessive crush, and sex drive over the years to come. _

_Moral of the story? _

_Parents and siblings alike...when you plan to take your young children/siblings to concerts...please make sure the band mates don't plan to practically have sex on the stage with children present in the audience...especially if they're family/family friends. It's unhealthy (I can admit it) and severely frowned upon._

_What I would haven given (and would still give) to have been the one Ryuichi was molesting on that stage (yes, even as a 6 year old, I would except said molestation...*drool*)_

_#2- Kumagoru. Not just any bunny could win the hearts of men and women alike ages 1-90. That takes cute, pink talent. Not to mention that the silly bunny knows more and has seen more in regards to Ryuichi than ANY living creature on the planet. That's one lucky stuffed bunny. Another thing that take bunny talent like his? Making any sane, normal human being refer to him as though he were alive. Even worse? Sometimes you TRULY think that he IS alive. I swear I've seen that bunny move in his own. And Pink Bunnies? Ryuichi has cosplayed as said bunny countless times. It's takes a good deal of devotion for the singer and pink bunny, to have the urge to rape a grown man who is basically dressed as the Easter Bunny... god I'm sick and twisted...I'll be the only monk to end up in hell...even the old man is more saintly than me...psh..._

Tatsuha had to laugh at that one... The thought of his father being at all saintly was ridiculous...

#3 _One Shuichi Shindou. I can honestly say that I'm jealous of my brother on this one... after seeing how much he resembled young Ryuichi...and then hearing him sing, I'd love to have him for myself (of course, only if I could ever really get over Ryuichi...) Even though Shuichi in person is nothing like Ryuichi, he's fucking adorable... I feel bad with the way Bro treats him, but I can't say I'd be much better...I'm too sadistic for his sweet timid natural. I'd possibly be far more romantic and loving then my brother, but I'll be the first to admit it... I have too much imagination in bed...and I'd get carried away. Strange that, that never happens when sleeping with the countless woman I've bedded...must be my gay kink for my normally straight life... oh well..._

_But regardless, Shuichi as a friend (who I may get a LITTLE touchy with...) Is wonderful. Nice to share the same likes with someone whose in my life. I swear, I'm the black sheep of the family. I've just fallen in some white paint so no one can tell..._

"Wonder if Shuichi's going to that concert too..."

_#4-Koi._

_Behind the temple is that insanely large koi pond. I've loved it as far back as I can remember. Lots of good memories there. All stress of the day melts away when you watch multi colored, multi sized fish swim around a pond munching on bamboo and making those gaspy faces. Not good for swimming though, almost drowned But good times all the same. I remember asking for a fish tank for my room so I could see koi all the time. Got smacked upside the head by the old man. _

'_Koi are large, beautiful, wild fish, and are meant to be in large bodies of water. They will die in a tiny fish tank. It's like a jail cell for fish." he'd said._

_And yet, upon visiting Tokyo and their pet stores, they indeed sold koi...for fish tanks..._

_I bought one, but put it in the pond._

_The old man has always wondered how a silvery blue butterfly finned koi managed to be born into the pond of mostly orange and white normal finned ones._

_I'll never tell._

Tatsuha smiled.

Ryuichi WAS and always would be a genius!

Tatsuha hadn't noticed that it was beginning to get dark. Now he wished he had. It had begun to thunder, and the sky had almost turned black.

"Shit!" he groaned.

There was no way he'd make it back to Kyoto before a downpour hit...

And then, he realized he knew EXACTLY where to go.

Hiroshi Nakano. Bad Luck's Guitarist, Shuichi Shindou's bestest buddy, and Ayaka Usami's loverboy, ALWAYS seemed to have people staying with him. He was the flop house.

They'd been on decent terms ever since Ayaka and him had been dating, since he'd grown up with her, he was constantly being called and pumped for info. Time to return the favor.

Tatsuha smiled, shoving the notebook and pen back in the bag, and jumped back on his bike.

Hiro would have a garage to stash it in too.

Perfect plan!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Meanwhile...

K had finally gotten over seeing Sakano sing into a broom, and had since started on his way to see the unnerved man.

K grinned.

The poor man could use a break anyway...

And as K finally stepped into the President's office, Sakano nearly leapt out of his skin.

"Nice show, Producer Man!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Glad to be back everyone! Read and review, and the next chapters will come quickly!


	9. Better than those Sexy playboy Bunnies

I know, I know...this one hasn't been updated in a while... but I've been pumping out the chapters for another fic like crazy :)

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

What do you want Tatsuha?" Hiro sighed, raising an eyebrow.

To be honest, the monk was the last person he had expected when he heard the doorbell ring... usually it was Yuji or Shu...

Tatsuha laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well...you see, it's like this... Bro totally kicked me out, and although I was happy to leave, very, very happy indeed, except...well, as you can see, it's pouring." H ended bluntly.

Hiro's eyes narrowed.

"So, you just thought you'd force yourself on me eh?"

Tatsuha snorted.

"Hey, that wasn't my intention, but I may take you up on your offer, you do have a sort of chickish look to you." He smirked.

Hiro groaned and rubbed his temple.

"That was so not how I meant it...and would it really matter if I looked like a woman or not? Last I checked Ryuichi Sakuma was a man..."

Tatsuha smirked.

" Yeah, well Ryuichi is a god. Regardless of gender, I yearn for him. You'd still be better with tits, that's all I'm saying. Listen, I'm cold, and wet, and need of some shelter. Let me put my bike away, and let me the hell in, or kick me out now so I can try somewhere else." he grumbled.

Hiro sighed and punched in the numbers on the garage door.

"All of you guys better be thanking your lucky stars that I'm a generous person... my home is not a dorm..."

Tatsuha only flashed him a quick smile, and quickly set his bike up in the garage before dashing into the house.

"Shoes off, and socks if their wet. You know where the bathroom is, use it, get dry, get changed. I don't need water spots everywhere. Unlike the lot of you, I prefer a clean dwelling space. Do you have a change of clothes, or did you come empty handed again?"

"Got em'."

"Good..."

And with that, Hiro turned, and left the room, leaving Tatsuha to change in the bathroom.

Tatsuha jumped in the shower after stripping off his clothes and tossing them into the wicker hamper, and quickly rinsed the rain water from his cold body. The hot water was nice after having been stuck in the rain on hi motorcycle.

He quickly changed into some pajama pants and a tank before joining Hiro in the livingroom, where he'd returned to after making them something quick to eat in the microwave.

"So, I'll take the short version, why the heck are you in town?" He grumbled, scooting over so Tatsuha had some couch room.

Tatsuha grinned, and tossed his damp bag across the room.

"Came to bug Aniki, why else?" He smirked, fumbling with his lighter.

"What now? Don't you ever run out of black mail? Hell, even my family isn't this dysfunctional..."

"No?" He raised an eyebrow, " Sad, makes life fun... and my dear friend, there is ALWAYS more blackmail in regards to my Bro.

Hiro snorted, and lit his own cigarette.

"What is it this time?"

"Sorry, no can do...my mouth is sealed on this one, though I don't mind bragging about my prize! I get to go see Ryuichi in all his Godliness, on stage, at their next concert!" Tatsuha let loose a squeal comparable to most raging fangirls...

Hiro could only laugh.

"You'd think with the tight group all of us have got going you'd get over this obsession off yours. Maybe if you acted a little normal you wouldn't have to fight to see Mr. Sakuma, and people, like Seguchi, would just let you hang out with them.

Tatsuha sighed.

"Alas, that would never happen... Mika holds the ropes to that one.. My dear sister has been thwarting me for 9 years now, she won't give up easily!" He grumbled.

Hiro raised an eyebrow, but thought it safer to NOT ask and just leave it be...best to not open up that can of worms...9 years...

They ate dinner in silence, and when they were done, Hiro continued that silence, and turned the television on rather than face another fan talk with Tatsuha.

Tatsuha on the other hand, seemed to pick right up where he'd left off at the park, and had pulled out his list of amusements to finish jotting them down.

After all, if Ryuichi Sakuma wished for everyone to write their s down, then by god, he was going to do it!

He quickly read over what he had thus far:

**MY LOVELY RYUICHI'S WRITING PROMPT!**

These are my 10 simple amusements that get me through every day life despite the boredom and parental pressure.

WHOOTNESS!

_#1- My darling Ryuichi! If not for him, life itself would be boring and meaningless, and this little paper would never exist. If not for him, I'd be a boring, obedient little monk boy, most likely with a shaved head and no sex drive...the horror... although...any 8 year old subjected to my life that got to see the concert, in person, that I did, would develop a heavy obsessive crush, and sex drive over the years to come. _

_Moral of the story? _

_Parents and siblings alike...when you plan to take your young children/siblings to concerts...please make sure the band mates don't plan to practically have sex on the stage with children present in the audience...especially if they're family/family friends. It's unhealthy (I can admit it) and severely frowned upon._

_What I would haven given (and would still give) to have been the one Ryuichi was molesting on that stage (yes, even as an 8 year old, I would except said molestation...*drool*)_

**Tatsuha snickered**

**... yes...**

**the almighty reason of Mika's desire to thwart him from seeing the man...**

_#2- Kumagoru. Not just any bunny could win the hearts of men and women alike ages 1-90. That takes cute, pink talent. Not to mention that the silly bunny knows more and has seen more in regards to Ryuichi than ANY living creature on the planet. That's one lucky stuffed bunny. Another thing that take bunny talent like his? Making any sane, normal human being refer to him as though he were alive. Even worse? Sometimes you TRULY think that he IS alive. I swear I've seen that bunny move in his own. And Pink Bunnies? Ryuichi has cosplayed as said bunny countless times. It's takes a good deal of devotion for the singer and pink bunny, to have the urge to rape a grown man who is basically dressed as the Easter Bunny... god I'm sick and twisted...I'll be the only monk to end up in hell...even the old man is more saintly than me...psh..._

#3 _One Shuichi Shindou. I can honestly say that I'm jealous of my brother on this one... after seeing how much he resembled young Ryuichi...and then hearing him sing, I'd love to have him for myself (of course, only if I could ever really get over Ryuichi...) Even though Shuichi in person is nothing like Ryuichi, he's fucking adorable... I feel bad with the way Bro treats him, but I can't say I'd be much better...I'm too sadistic for his sweet timid natural. I'd possibly be far more romantic and loving then my brother, but I'll be the first to admit it... I have too much imagination in bed...and I'd get carried away. Strange that, that never happens when sleeping with the countless woman I've bedded...must be my gay kink for my normally straight life... oh well..._

_But regardless, Shuichi as a friend (who I may get a LITTLE touchy with...) Is wonderful. Nice to share the same likes with someone whose in my life. I swear, I'm the black sheep of the family. I've just fallen in some white paint so no one can tell..._

_#4-Koi._

_Behind the temple is that insanely large koi pond. I've loved it as far back as I can remember. Lots of good memories there. All stress of the day melts away when you watch multi colored, multi sized fish swim around a pond munching on bamboo and making those gaspy faces. Not good for swimming though, almost drowned But good times all the same. I remember asking for a fish tank for my room so I could see koi all the time. Got smacked upside the head by the old man. _

'_Koi are large, beautiful, wild fish, and are meant to be in large bodies of water. They will die in a tiny fish tank. It's like a jail cell for fish." he'd said._

_And yet, upon visiting Tokyo and their pet stores, they indeed sold koi...for fish tanks..._

_I bought one, but put it in the pond._

_The old man has always wondered how a silvery blue butterfly finned koi managed to be born into the pond of mostly orange and white normal finned ones._

_I'll never tell._

He smiled...

Yes...he definitely had more go... but could he narrow it down to only 10 total?

_#5- Hiroshi Nakano_

_Nice guy, but a living oddity... Tried to be the perfect son, go to med school, give up all things fun to please mommy-dearest, but did so while smoking, drinking, being in a band, having long hair, while driving a motorcycle...By all rights, he should have turned out odder than me, but managed to keep his own unique personality... In the end of course, he disappointed her and went with band-life anyway, but still overall a good-goody. Still went after the innocent girl from the well off traditional family, with no ulterior motives, and still hasn't done more than give her a quick kiss...I swear, this guy has more self control than anyone, and I have to give him props for that..._

_#6- Eiri_

_What to say about my dear ol' brother? He's got more problems than the lot of us put together, but doesn't throw it in anyone's face, even though we all know Tohma's got a lot of blame on him. My brother went from being a typical older brother, to coming home a delinquent years later, who loved nothing more than getting the old man riled up, and finding a good shag in town. Became the ultimate role model for said little brother to further along his already warped mind and obsession. Had he not gone to new York and come back an entirely different person, I'd likely still be a whiny little alter boy dreaming of bigger things and sexy singers, instead of fully enjoying my self and pursuing said sexy man..._

_I'm off topic once again..._

_Eiri, despite all his issues, managed to find his own sexy singer, who loves him more obsessively than I love my own Ryuichi, found himself one hell of a career, and managed to alienate himself from the old man, thus pushing all the burden of the temple onto me. Although that bit is not amusing, his ability to do all of that is..._

_#7- Sugaru_

_The boy is doomed._

_Point blankly, doomed. He is related to the Seguchi family. There is no way that he'll escape the madness. He may be all young, and innocent-like right now, playing with bad Luck, ut one day, not too far down the road, he'll turn into a mini Tohma. It's inevitable. Hell, Tohma turned into a miniature of his own father, and likely it's been like that for generation after generation. I'd had to see Sugaru's parents...one of them is a Seguchi, probably the mother...damn...even scarier thought...a female Tohma..._

_Correction, the world is doomed..._

_A few more generations of this, and the Seguchi's will rule the world..._

_In times like these, I'm glad I'm married into that family..._

_#8- Shuichi's sister..._

_She's honestly got to be the only sane one on that family, although I've yet to see Shuichi's father, but the mother's nuts as well..._

_Maiko is sweet, but not so innocent. She knows how the world is. Knew better than to show the slightest bit of interest in me, despite my resemblance to my brother (though she conveniently does not know about that relation, or she may have very well thrown herself at me, or so Shuichi says anyway...)_

_She lives to be a novelist like my dear brother. See how he warps little girl's minds?_

_#9- Shindou family as a whole..._

_I'm sure Shuichi's not yet introduced his family to him, or I'm sure I'd have heard about it already..._

_It's a wonder how stupid Shuichi is... I mean...his sister obsesses over my brother's books, his mother reads them as well. They've both done so for years..._

_And yet... Shuichi still hadn't had the slightest clue as to who Eiri was! Might be because he's probably never touched one of those damn books. I don't know if he even reads._

_Hell, I've even read all his books...good shit!_

_The mother is scary...Shuichi clearly took after her._

_That energy and personality on a woman her age is just terrifying though._

_#10- Dun, Dun, DUN!_

_Ryuichi...again...always!_

_Ryuichi is the most amazing person EVER!_

_Although I can openly say I drool every time he steps on stage, his in person personality is unique. Having grown up in a decently strict household being raised to potentially take over the temple (as Eiri no longer seems preferable nor likely) I've missed out on being a typical kid. It seems likely that Ryuichi missed out on it too as he fully makes up for it in all of his spare time. Before Ryuichi, I'd been to the zoo once, with Mika and Tohma, when I was way younger of course. Like with the Koi, the old man had a fit ('Caging those majestic animals and forcing them into the public eye! How shameful! They've put them all in a public prison!') and so, they'd been forbidden to bring me to one ever again. Although one would typically think I was bored as hell, dreaming of ways to get into the man's pants (ok... so the later was the case, but not the point...) I was actually enjoying myself. And yes, wearing costumes only made the experience better. Again, see amusement #2. Bunny Ryuichi is a hell of a lot better than those sexy playboy bunnies, and that's saying a lot. And to top that wonderful day off? I totally got to ride him (lmao) on my motorcycle! I will forever remember those arms around me! Oh, and then of course, he jumped on stage, and I had a beautiful backstage/balcony type view of said performance!_

_Point of all of this? _

_Ryuichi Sakuma makes me totally feel like the kid I never got to be, combined with the feeling of being the horny teenager that I am, with the odd twist of acting like said age but opposite sex._

_Wrong?_

_Of course! But since when haven't I liked that, hmm?_

Tatsuha whooped, and giggled, drawing attention from the long haired brunette beside him.

"You're getting a little too creepy for my liking dude..." Hiro winced hesitantly.

Tatsuha just gave a nervous laugh, and quickly put away his list.

"What on earth have you been writing anyway? You're definitely not the writing type like your brother..." Hiro eyed hm cautiously.

"Well, "He began, "if you MUST know, I was writing down the ten things that amuse me most! It was a wonderful stress relieving writing prompt assigned by THE Ryuichi Sakuma himself, that's making it's way though our wonderful group of family and friends!" he smiled.

Hiro just groaned.

"Are you serious? That's really what's going on? Damn it, I had to witness Shuichi AND Fugisaki of all people secretly writing crap down all day. You mean to tell me that everyone is stupidly following some instructions Mr. Sakuma came up with?" He whined, holding his head in his hands.

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't diss Ryuichi's brilliant mind! If everyone is doing it, it was clearly a great idea!" Tatsuha grumble defensively.

Hiro just sighed, and stood from th couch.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Tatsuha glared.

Hiro just stared at him for a long moment.

"I'm going to my room. Clearly you're all insane, and I have to separate myself from you all, or I'll catch your stupid..."

After slamming the door shut, Tatsuha just continued to stare at the door, until a large grin appeared on his face.

"He's totally doing his own..."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Whoot! Got the chapter done!

Wow, this one ended up longer than most chapters do for this fic...well, hope you all enjoy it then!


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